To be your Man
by voiceinme
Summary: This is originally a one-shot story but someone asked for another chapter so here it is :) It is my very first story and I hope you will like it :) The scene started wherein Ana left Christian after what happened in the Red Room. Christian spent the night alone, thinking about Ana. All characters belong to E.L.James. Please Review. :)
1. Chapter 1 - When I was Your Man

**Author's Note:**

This is originally a one-shot story but because of a requested I decided to keep it going. It will be my very first story ever. All characters belong to E.L. James . I listened to the song "When I was your man" and it gave me inspiration to write this one. I hope you will like it guys!

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**Christian's POV**

And I just saw Ana's face disappearing as the elevator closed in front of me. Oh my! What I have done?! I can't stop her from leaving me here after what happened in the Red Room. This is all my fault, and Ana won't be here anymore…because of me..

I decided to go to my room and think. I put my Ipod on and let the music surrounds me as I need comfort. Since I was a child, music helped me to go through all the pain. It is my companion and my savior each and every day. I try to repeat what happened earlier. I can't let Ana slip in my fingers. I just can't. She's my Ana for God's sake. My Ana.. This is new, I never think that I would consider anybody as mine. It feels new but at the same time, it feels great. My Ana..mine! And I would do anything just to get my Ana back. I want her back.

I need to get in to a plan. How can I see her again? I'm sure she won't like to see me around after I hurt her. She's crying when she run into the elevator and leave. I want to hug her. Comfort her and let her know that I'm still here. That I will take care of her. That I will never hurt her.

I feel so tired but my eyes won't let me sleep. I lay here in my bed trying to think ways to get her back…

Same bed, but it feels just a little bit bigger now  
Our song on the radio, but it don't sound the same  
When our friends talk about you all that it does is just tear me down  
Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name  
And it all just sound like uh, uh, uh

The lyrics of the song struck me directly in my heart. It's true. I'm here all alone in my room, lying in my bed and it feels like something is missing. It will never be the same having Ana around in my room, sleeping beside me as she takes away my nightmare. I want to feel her head in my arms and feeling the slow and peaceful beat of her heart. It assures me that she is safe. Where is she now? Oh God! I will never forgive myself if there's something wrong happened to her. Is she eating that much?

Hmmm too young, too dumb to realize  
That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand  
Should have gave you all my hours when I had the chance  
Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance  
Now my baby is dancing, but she's dancing with another man.

Oh, the song helps me to realize how wrong I am. I told her I'm not a heart and flower kind of man. But now, I begin to realize that I will do anything just to get her back in my arms. I will buy all the flowers for her. I hope she can forgive me but I'm sure it will take a lot of time to gain her trust again. I don't care how long it will take. Yes I do have a company to run, but I hired efficient and responsible employees to help me get through each day at work while I'm busy getting Ana back. Oh Ana, baby.. I want to see you tonight. I can't imagine you having another man's arm around your waist and see you smiling because he can make you happy. No! Grey stop! Don't think too much. It won't help you. Ana won't forget you that fast. Think Grey! Don't imagine her with another man. Right! It will never happen as long as you started to make a move. Think Grey. It's not too late.

My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways  
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life  
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made  
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes  
It all just sounds like uh, uh, uh, uh

Bruno Mars is right! My needs and selfish ways put me in this kind of situation. If I just make things as simple as it could be, I won't have to take another minute torturing and beating up myself. I need to make a move. But I think I need Ana to have enough time to think. Maybe giving her time will make her mind see things clearer. She might see how much she means to me. That's right! I will give her tonight that time and I will speak to her tomorrow morning. I will do whatever it takes to let me in her life again.

Although it hurts I'll be the first to say that I was wrong  
Oh, I know I'm probably much too late  
To try and apologize for my mistakes  
But I just want you to know  
I hope he buys you flowers, I hope he holds your hand  
Give you all his hours when he has the chance  
Take you to every party cause I remember how much you loved to dance  
Do all the things I should have done when I was your man!

Oh God! This song really speaks to what I feel right now except the last part. Yes, I will acknowledge that I was wrong. If I want to have a future with Ana, we have to meet half way. It's not only her that needs to understand me; I also need to understand her. It should be a two-way process. And no! Never! I will never allow any other man to give her heart and flower kind of thing. It should only be me. Only me. I will do all things that I should need to do. But how? How can I approach her after tonight? Oh I remember. There's an event for Jose and it will be just a few days from now. Right! I will ask her about that and give her a lift. That's right. So I need to compose myself and think of the right words to tell her. That's right Grey! Don't ruin that chance. You have to get her back. Yes, I will surely get her back. I want my Ana back. I want her back..

I need to calm myself and after hearing that song, it gave me hope. It challenges me to be a better man for her. A man for Ana, a man she truly deserves. The box lying in the corner of my room caught my attention. Oh, my Ana is so sweet. She bought me something. But I ruin everything we had because of what happened in the Red Room. I started doing the mini version of Charlie Tango. I'm almost done and I feel that my eyes starting to be heavy. I am starting to drift away but I hold my mini Charlie tango tightly beside me. I hope it will be enough to take away my nightmares. My Ana.. Tomorrow, I will see to it that I get time to talk to you. It's been only a few hours since she left and I'm starting to miss her. I miss you my Ana..

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I hope you will like it guys. :) This is my first ever story and reviews from you is highly appreciated.

Enjoy! :)


	2. Chapter 2 - Without You

**Author's Note:**

Hi Guys! :) I know that I posted this as a one-shot story but because someone wants to have another chapter, and gives me that courage to write one more chapter. If you guys want me to continue the story, please review and let me know. I want to have a song in every chapter that i will make ( in case you want me to continue with this). I recommend that you listen to the song in each chapter as you read them. :) Thank you so much! Please review :)

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My head is still heavy. I'm not sure what time did I slept. It is the first time that Ana is not around and I did not have any nightmare. My mini Charlie Tango does the magic I guess. I promised myself to give Ana time, but I need to do some moves today. I am missing my Ana. I need to see her. I need to know if she had her breakfast, did she sleep just fine. Okay Grey! Put your back off the bed and get into the shower.

Yes, I have issues with eating but this morning, I just can't take anything into my mouth. All I want to do is to see Ana, my Ana. I walked past the kitchen and goes directly into the elevator. I know Taylor is behind me. I turned and shake my head. He's been with me for a long time. He knows my actions and by shaking my head, he will let me do what I want. And that means, I don't want him to go with me.

I climb into my car. Put my Ipod on and let the music fill my car. It is my comfort zone, in a place all by myself and music surrounding me. I don't know what song is playing; I just need to know that there is someone singing while I'm driving. All I know is I need to see Ana.

I parked outside the apartment where she and Kate used to live. I stay inside my car. I don't want her to be frightened because I'm there. I just need to see her. I need the assurance that she's doing just fine. But how? Okay Grey, patience! I will wait for an hour. But what if no Ana will come out after an hour? Okay, that's the only time I will go inside. I have to wait for one hour! Nobody makes me wait that long. In my office I won't allow that! Oh Grey, calm down. Ana is not part of any mergers and acquisitions that you used to handle. She's far different from that. Remember last night? You told yourself that you will meet her half way. So do it for her. You're the reason why she left.

It's been half an hour but still, no Ana came out. Okay, I have last 30 minutes. My eyes are fixed in the doorway. Many people came in and out of the place already. I need to think how to approach her. Do I need to knock first? What about try to call her first and tell her that I'm outside of the apartment?

I am in the middle of planning what's the best way to do once I go to her apartment door, when a song caught me off guard. I still have 15 minutes to wait. I focus myself with the song. I closed my eyes and every lyric struck me. It's not a shock to me to find comfort with music. The melody, the words, the way it was sung…

_**I can't win, I can't reign  
I will never win this game  
Without you, without you  
I am lost, I am vain,  
I will never be the same  
Without you, without you**_

**_I won't run, I won't fly_**  
**_I will never make it by_**  
**_Without you, without you_**  
**_I can't rest, I can't fight_**  
**_All I need is you and I,_**  
**_Without you, without you_**

I feel a tear in my cheek…oh my! I'm Christian Grey, I never cry with the music I'm listening to! I don't know but it feels fine.. I keep my eyes closed, tilting my head and allowing the words to go into my ears until my heart receives the message. I did not imagine that a woman will make me feel this way. Grey, don't forget that Ana is not like any other girl. She's something special. I remember the day she fell in my office. Her blue eyes staring on the painting in my office wall. Raising ordinary to extraordinary… I can still hear her saying those words. Yes baby, you're right. Raising something ordinary to extraordinary. I need control but I am losing it with Ana. The memory of what happened in the Red Room is now flashing back and it's haunting me. I can't stop the tears from flowing down my face. Oh Ana, baby I am really sorry. I can't forget her face when the elevator closed. She's crying her heart out and I did it to her! I caused the pain!

_**Can't erase, so I'll take blame  
But I can't accept that we're estranged  
Without you, without you  
I can't quit now, this can't be right  
I can't take one more sleepless night  
Without you, without you**_

**_I won't soar, I won't climb_**  
**_If you're not here, I'm paralyzed_**  
**_Without you, without you_**  
**_I can't look, I'm so blind_**  
**_I lost my heart, I lost my mind_**  
**_Without you, without you_**

I am now coming out of my mind without my Ana. Grey calm down. Inhale..exhale.. I am counting now to 10 and decided to open my eyes as the song comes to an end. I can still see the doorway, but this time it is blurred because of the tears in my eyes. I checked my watch. I have waited an hour, I need to go inside and checked if Ana's okay.

I am about to get off my car when I saw Ana coming out. Oh God, did she eat anything last night?! She looks like she hadn't sleep. She looks so weak and anytime, the wind can blow her tiny body. New tears are now starting to fall. I tightened my grip in my car door. I did it to her. Look Grey! Look what you have done! I can't move. I can't think. I am devastated with what Ana looks now. Where are those blue eyes that used to be happy? Where is her smart mouth? Where is the carefree Ana that I met? Grey, you caused her to be like that. All the courage that I have to see her is now gone. She said that she's not good enough for me but it is the other way around. I am not good enough for Ana. I am not the man for her.

I can't hear what song is now playing in my Ipod. I just found myself driving without any destination. I have been driving around for few hours now. I decided to head back to Escala. I get off my car, ride the elevator leading to my floor, go straight to my room until I reached my bed. I know Gail greeted me as I entered the foyer but I have no energy to look at anyone, to speak with anyone. I feel so lost. I feel like I'm floating but I don't know why. I can't think straight. I want to run but I can't. I want to just disappear but there is still a part of me that wants to keep going…for Ana. But how? I will destroy her if I come near her, but I can't let her go like that. I just can't. I need my Ana. I am nothing without her. I feel so lost. I'm torn. I don't know what is the best thing to do.

I hear a knock on my door and saw Taylor standing. He asked me if I'm okay. I don't want to answer. I am his boss. It's not my responsibility to answer any questions from him. I just look at him blankly. When he felt that theirs is no answer that he can get from me, he starting to turn his back but I call him.

"Taylor…"

"yes, Mr. Grey?"

"Can you please keep an eye with Ms. Steele. I need to know if she's taking care of herself. If she's eating on time or if she's going out of their apartment."

"Yes, sir. I will give you a report at the end of the day and I will put a security on her apartment as well to have a close look at her."

"Thank you. You can go now."

And once the door in my room closed, I put my head on my hands and I started to sob. I still need control. And the only thing that I can do now is to put someone near Ana, so I still know what she is doing without her seeing me around…and at the same time without me seeing what I have done to her. It broke my heart earlier when I see how pale she is now.

My mind is now tired of thinking but my eyes are still open. I need something to connect myself with my Ana. I go and get my mini Charlie Tango. I just look at it. And I can't help myself but to miss Ana. A single tear escape my eye and I found myself holding my Blackberry, typing a text to Ana.

I MISS YOU, MS. STEELE…

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Thank you for reading :) This chapter is written as Donna requested for it. So many thanks to Donna. :) This story is for all you guys too. :) In hope you will like it. You can suggest any songs that you might think would be a suitable one for the next chapters. Reviews keep me going so please leave some :) Thanks!


	3. Chapter 3 - Officially Missing You

**Author's Note:**

Hi :) Someone requested to continue this story so here it is. I hope you will continue to appreciate my story. Every review makes me feel great and push me to continue writing. Again, all characters belong to E. . Please review :) Thanks!

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It's Sunday. I have no energy to get off my bed and go to my parent's house. It is the usual lunch with the whole family. Yes, today, Mia will arrive and my mother expects everyone to be there. Before, I planned to bring Ana and introduce her to my family but everything's different now. I don't want leave my room either. I feel like I deserved to be all alone in my room. I still have my eyes closed when my blackberry beeps. I reached for it and groan when I saw Mia's name. Oh God! Please I really don't have the energy to talk with anyone, especially Mia. I know she will insist today's lunch. I call Taylor to give my mom a call that I cannot make it today. After a few minutes I heard a knock on my door.

At first it is just a knock, but I guess the person behind my bedroom door won't give up waking me up. I walked over the door and open it and to my surprised, I saw Mia with her hands on her hips and smiling at me. Oh my! I never thought that she will have the idea of going on my place just to get me in this family lunch. And not only that, she brought the whole family along with her, and I know it is her idea to have the lunch here instead.

Since I left with no choice, I go with her in the kitchen and saw my family already sitting around the table, food are all set and obviously, they are just waiting for me. I sit and just let the time flies. I don't even touch my food. I keep telling my mind that once it is over, I can go back to my room again. I think they know that I am not okay and not in the mood to talk either. They acted like everything's fine and let me in my own world. I feel that they are now starting to stand so I don't waste any time. I stand and started to walk towards the stairs when I feel someone's hand over my shoulder.

"Christian, I really missed you so I told Mom that I will stay here for the night. I hope it is okay with you. I also want to have some time painting the view from here." Mia said.

I nod and try to give her a smile then proceed to my room. I think they know what I need right now and they are giving it to me… time alone for myself. I try to just sleep and let the day passed by..

I awoke because of a nightmare. Still sweating and trying to compose myself, I saw a glimpse of light outside my door. I feel thirsty and decided to get some water. I saw Mia painting near the window. I did not notice that it is raining outside. I can hear a song playing. It is one of the common denominator to all Greys. We love music and my parents see to it that we can all play any instrument. Well, I started to walk again and just ignore Mia since she's been working into something.

Going back to my room, holding a glass of water when I suddenly stop..

_**All I hear is raindrops**__**  
**__**Falling on the rooftop**__**  
**__**Oh baby tell me why'd you have to go**__**  
**__**Cause this pain I feel**__**  
**__**It won't go away**__**  
**__**And today I'm officially missing you**__**  
**__**I thought that from this heartache**__**  
**__**I could escape**__**  
**__**But I fronted long enough to know**__**  
**__**There ain't no way**__**  
**__**And today**__**  
**__**I'm officially missing you..**_

Here we go again. For the last few days, songs play a major role in my situation now. It soothes me. It makes me understand. It seems like they are telling me what I supposed to know. I stand still and letting the song talked to me. I really miss Ana. I read Taylor's report about what Ana did yesterday, but like I expected, she did not leave the apartment again. Oh Ana, I really want to see you right now but I'm afraid. Oh, that's another first. I am not afraid with anyone. I always get what I want…except my Ana. Along the song I could also hear the rain pouring outside. It feels like they are crying for me too. I never thought that rain can be a good companion in these days. I keep listening to the song with my eyes closed.

_**All I do is lay around**__**  
**__**Two ears full tears**__**  
**__**From looking at your face on the wall**__**  
**__**Just a week ago you were my baby**__**  
**__**Now I don't even know you at all**__**  
**__**I don't know you at all**__**  
**__**Well I wish that you would call me right now**__**  
**__**So that I could get through to you somehow**__**  
**__**But I guess it's safe to say baby safe to say**__**  
**__**That I'm officially missing you**__**Oh can't nobody do it like you**__**  
**__**Said every little thing you do**__**  
**__**Hey baby say it stays on my mind**__**  
**__**And I, I'm officially missing you..**__**Well I thought I could just get over you baby**__**  
**__**But I see that's something I just can't do**__**  
**__**From the way you would hold me**__**  
**__**To the sweet things you told me**__**  
**__**I just can't find a way**__**  
**__**To let go of you.**_

Oh my, and that hit me. I can never let go Ana. I can't take to spend another minute keeping myself inside my room without doing anything to see her. Or even to talk with her. As I open my eyes, I saw Mia looking at me. She step forward and stop, trying to get answer from me if it's okay to come near me. I just look at her and she started to walk towards me and a small smile is in her face. She put her hands over my shoulders with her eyes still looking at me.

"I know you're not okay and you have something in your head and in your heart that's hurting you. I know I am your baby sister and you will say to me that I don't know any better with what you already knew. But please let me say this to you Christian. Stop thinking too much instead, start listening to what your heart is telling you. What you do resulting on what you think makes you smart, and there's no doubt that you are as you already running your own company, and doing things out of what your heart is telling you will not make you less smarter. Set aside the CEO Christian and be a normal Christian. I am so excited to meet her.."

" and how.." But she raised her hand to stop me and said..

"We have enough time later to talk. For now, I want you to fix yourself. Go and talk to her. Please choose your words and make her feel how much you miss her. Acknowledge your fault and be a gentleman to ask for her forgiveness. I will be waiting for you here and if you decided to stay on her place for the rest of the night, it is okay with me. You don't need to worry as I am a big girl now."

I can't help but to smile on what Mia told me. I nod and go quickly in my room to change and get my keys. I noticed that the rain stopped now but I need to still be careful on the road.

I saw Mia painting again while listening to Tamia's songs. I give her a quick hug from behind that surprised her. And she returned it with a big smile on her face. I am now standing in the foyer waiting for the elevator to ping. I can't wait to see Ana. I have enough courage to talk with her. Mia never fails to save me. She saved me when I was a kid, and now she saved me again. My baby sister is a grown up lady now. Ana, baby..please wait for me and we will fix things now..

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There it is :) I hope you enjoy this chapter and please leave me a review. Many Thanks! :)


	4. Chapter 4 - Make you Feel My Love

**Author's Note:**

To answer a guest's review, I will not follow the series of events in the book. I might pick some scenes from the original story to show that somehow there is still a connection with my story. I hope I answer your question and made it clear. All characters belong to EL James.

Please don't forget to listen to the song that I have in every chapter. It helps! Thank you and it would be great if you leave a review.

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My heart is pounding as I stand outside Ana's apartment. To be honest I don't know what to say yet, but one thing I am sure of is that, I need to see Ana. I hold the door knob and to my surprised, it was left unlocked. Oh Baby, what should I do to you, you're putting yourself at risk. Tsk tsk. But I must admit, I have it on my advantage.

I turned it and open the door trying to be sure not to do any noise. I don't want her to be scared or surprised. The living room is so dark and the only light that I can see is from her room. Is she still awake? I walked toward her bedroom door. I try to listen if she is still awake and when I heard nothing but silence, I decided to open the door.

I saw Ana. I saw her sleeping on her side, back away from the door but I can see her face from the light on her window. A tear escaped from my eye and all I can do is to put my hands on my mouth to silence my sob. It is obvious that she has been crying to sleep. I can still see the trace of her tears on her cheeks. The packs of tissue on her table are a good proof of that. I am now closing the distance between us and sit at the edge of her bed. I am about to caress her cheeks when she suddenly whisper my name.

"Christian.."

Yes, I heard it right. She called my name. I look at her and I can tell that she is still sleeping. I put away the hair strands covering her face and try to sooth her. I moved closer to her and started to hum a song. I am singing the lyrics on my head, and she began to relax when I have started to hum.

_**When the rain is blowing in your face  
And the whole world is on your case  
I could offer you a warm embrace  
To make you feel my love**_

_**When the evening shadows and the stars appear  
And there is no one there to dry your tears  
I could hold you for a million years  
To make you feel my love**_

_**I know you haven't made your mind up yet  
But I would never do you wrong  
I've known it from the moment that we met  
No doubt in my mind where you belong**_

Ana stirs and I thought I woke her up but she just turn and sleep on her other side. So she is now facing me. I continue my humming, hoping that it will make her sleep more deeply. I am in control now and it makes me feel better. Ana is in front of me, I know that she's sleeping and fine. Tomorrow, I will do whatever it takes to make her talk to me. I will not waste any chance from now on.

I will take the rest of the night here. I started to move her further to have enough room for me to lay beside her. I put my arms around her carefully and rest my chin over her head. I would trade anything just to have Ana with me like this. My left hand tries to comfort her up and down her arm to comfort her while humming.

_**I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue  
I'd go crawling down the avenue  
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do  
To make you feel my love**_

_**The storms are raging on the rolling sea  
And on the highway of regret  
The winds of change are blowing wild and free  
You ain't seen nothing like me yet**_

_**I could make you happy, make your dreams come true  
Nothing that I wouldn't do  
Go to the ends of the Earth for you  
To make you feel my love**_

I am starting to drift away when I feel Ana moving closer to me. I smiled and taking that as cue that she still wants me. That I am her comfort and hopefully she can consider me as her home. I want her to feel how I care about her, how I am lost without her. I want her to feel how much I love her. Ooops! Did I say the word "love"? Well, I don't want to think it now. I need to do things one at a time. And to make Ana feel and understand what she is to me that would be the first priority. But for now I need to catch more sleep. Tomorrow is a very important day. I kissed Ana's forehead and whispered..

" Have a good sleep baby. I am here now. I missed you.."

I can feel the heat of the sun on my face. I forget about the window and left it the way it was last night. I have no nightmare and that makes this day a better one. I can still feel that Ana is still in my arms and I even hold her tighter. I'm sure she is still sleeping as I did not feel any movement from her for the whole time, except when she tries to bury herself more in my embrace. That thought brings a bigger smile on my face.

I started to open my eyes to see my beautiful Ana next to me. I put away some hair on her face and give her a quick kiss on her cheeks. She smiled and I can't help but to smile too. She called my name again.

"Christian.."

"Yes baby, I'm here. Can I see those beautiful blue eyes?"

She smiled but still her eyes closed. And I guess, she clearly heard me, as the expression on her face changes. She looked confused and immediately opened her eyes. I can see on her eyes that she was surprised and she immediately sit up.

"What are you doing here?"

"Baby we need to talk, please."

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**Author's Note:**

There you have it guys I hope you enjoy that. Thank you for reading. And as always, a review from you is highly appreciated. Thank you again! :)


	5. Chapter 5 - I Won't Give Up

**Author's Note:**

Hi guys! A new chapter for you. I hope you will like it and please leave me a review. Thank you also to those who follow my story and considered it as their favourite. You have no idea how it makes me happy. Thanks again and enjoy!

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I can see mixed reaction on Ana's face. It is so hard to tell. So before she can say anything, I said what I need to say.

"Baby we need to talk, please."

My heart beats so fast. I don't know what Ana is feeling right now, but I need to take all the chance that I have.

" I will ask you again Christian, what are you doing here?" Ana has a straight face now. Is she keeping her anger? Oh God, I have no idea.

" Ana, please hear me out. Baby, the last few days tortured me. I need to talk to you. Let's make things clearer. I came here because I want to see you, and of course, I want to talk to you. But I found your door unlocked. And you know it is not safe and you're alone. But we will discuss that later as we have a lot of things to talk with."

She is still motionless. She doesn't even say another word. It is harder than merger and acquisition.

"Ana? Baby please speak up.." I am so desperate now.

" Christian please leave. I don't know what to say right now. I have to go to work. Today is my first day. I will let you know if I'm ready to talk with you. But now, I need you to leave."

She said that in an even tone. I can't spend more time thinking we are not still okay. Grey, think of a better way. You need to talk with her at least…today. Right! I need it today.

"How about I will wait for you until you're good to leave your office later this afternoon. Please Ana, I really need to talk to you. Can you give me some time after work? Let's have dinner and we will clear things out. Baby please. I can't bear not to talk it with you today."

Even she is still motionless, I can say that her mind is battling over her heart. I can see a tear fall in her eye and she looked away. Oh Lord, help me with this. Please make Ana agree with this.

"Okay. But remember this Christian, I am not agreeing into talking with you later today because I want everything we had to be back. We have a lot of things to settle first. I will be out at 5pm today."

I want to hug myself when she said that. Okay Grey, make your next move and don't ruin it.

" I will be there waiting for you then. I prefer to have dinner first then we can talk?"

I am nervous but I hope it doesn't show. Ana just nod. And before she reached the door, I told her..

" I'm sorry for entering the apartment without your knowledge and for inviting myself to spend the night here. I know it is not the right thing to do, but I hope you understand where I am coming from.."

She just stares at me and nods. Then I found myself walking out of the room. Okay, I need to make a reservation for our dinner. I need to pull out some connections to do some extra things for tonight. I called Andrea while I'm on my way back to Escala. I asked her to send flowers to SIP for Ana.

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It is now 5pm and I am waiting in the car for Ana. I saw her walking out of the door, waving into someone. Maybe one of her officemates. I am about to get off the car but to my surprised, she let herself get inside. That's Ana, she doesn't want for anyone to do things for her if she can do it by herself. But I am sure, she doesn't want me to greet her and do things for her, especially now that we are still not okay.

" Hi Ana, how's the first day at work? Did you get the flowers that I have sent you?" My voice is a little bit shaky but I am trying my best to sound normal.

" Yes, thank you."

That's all that she said. Okay Grey, you have to keep her talk. Start a conversation. Right!

" So baby, are you hungry? I hope you don't mind but I made a reservation already. I hope Italian food is fine with you. Or if not, we can go to other restaurant to eat."

"Anything and anywhere is fine."

Oh! She's doing a cold treatment now. I found myself reaching out for her hand for me to hold but before I do, she crossed her arms in front of her.

" Baby, please don't be like that."

"Don't be like what Christian? Do you expect me to greet you, smile to you, or hug you as if nothing happened ?"

Okay, at least she is talking to me now. I will choose it rather than the cold treatment she's giving me earlier.

"Ana…I'm sorry. I know that I hurt you so bad. I just don't know how to handle things like this. Okay. Look. I want this relationship to work. And for me to do that, I need you to talk to me. Tell me what you want. I will tell you what I want too. From there we can make adjustments. Baby please just hear me out first before you conclude things."

"I know what you need and unfortunately, I can't give it to you. That's why we ended like this. And you're talking about relationship..is this still the same relationship that you wanted since then? Do you still want to insist the lifestyle that you want? Because if you do, then maybe, you can stop the car now and let me leave"

Grey! Watch your words, Ana do have the point. You are here to mend things. You have to meet her halfway. Remember you have to choose the right words.

"I'm sorry. What I mean is what you need and what I need. Then once we know those, we can meet in the middle. Adjust those things so we can both agree into it. Okay. Please calm yourself. We will eat first, compose both ourselves and talk like adults. We have to listen to each other's opinions. From there we will both make decisions. Is it better?"

"Okay."

That's all I got from her after almost telling her that I will do anything she wants just to make this work. We reached the restaurant and lead her to a private room. I can see that she looked surprised when her eyes caught a grand piano at the corner of the room. I just smiled to myself. I have plans for tonight and that piano will have its part.

Once seated, we placed our orders, enjoyed the food and now, we're having wine. I am still in my comfortable state when Ana suddenly speak up.

"I think it is time to talk. I will let you say your piece and you can expect me to listen to you."

I looked at her, stand and go to the piano's direction. I can see a confusing look on her face. She is still staring at me as I sit and put my fingers on the piano keys. And then, I started playing and sing..

_**When I look into your eyes  
It's like watching the night sky  
Or a beautiful sunrise  
Well, there's so much they hold  
And just like them old stars  
I see that you've come so far  
To be right where you are  
How old is your soul?**_

_**Well, I won't give up on us**_  
_**Even if the skies get rough**_  
_**I'm giving you all my love**_  
_**I'm still looking up**_

I glanced at her and see that she is still on the same position with what I left her in the table. Then her hands slowly found their place over her mouth. I am not sure what her reaction actually is, as we have some distance from each other. I smiled at her and continue the song.

_**And when you're needing your space  
To do some navigating  
I'll be here patiently waiting  
To see what you find**_

'Cause even the stars they burn  
Some even fall to the earth  
We've got a lot to learn  
God knows we're worth it  
No, I won't give up

And then I feel someone's hand over my shoulder and I can't help myself but to smile. I look at her and our eyes meet. I can say, she's been crying. I just hope she's crying because she's happy. But Grey! Don't forget, a song can never fix things. I know that. But I told my inner voice that at least, I am doing just right, and making the right moves to win her back. And for that, I can't put away the smile on my face as I play the piano.

_**I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily  
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make  
**_  
_**Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts we got **_

_**Yeah, we got a lot at stake  
And in the end you're still my friend, at least we did intend for us to work  
We didn't break, we didn't burn  
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in  
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not**_

_**And who I am.  
I won't give up on us  
Even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up  
Still looking up...**_

And as the song end, I can feel inside me that somehow, a part of the baggage I am feeling was lifted up. Not all, but at least some of it. I put my hands over hers in my shoulder and give her a slight squeeze. Then I heard Ana saying..

"Maybe there's something you're afraid to say, or someone you're afraid to love, or somewhere you're afraid to go."

Those words bring panic on me so I stand up to face her and to stop her from saying more. I thought I am in the right pace to have her back. Did I oversee it? Did I do it wrong? Oh please not again. Maybe she can read what I am thinking or the panic can be seen on my face because she raised her hand, as if telling me to stop. And she continues..

"It's gonna hurt. It's gonna hurt because it matters…"

I am stunned with the words that she is using. I am not sure if it's a good sign or it's the other way around. I am afraid on where she is going with that statement.

" I have read that phrase from one of John Green's books. Before, I can't understand how it will hurt. Not until, you sat there and started playing the piano. When you started singing and I can feel each word as if you have written it to say what you want me to hear. If the last few days tortured you, it is the same way with me. "

And with that, I pull her and give her a tight hug. I bury my nose in her hair, smell her scent and even hug her tighter. I missed this. My arms around Ana and just feeling safe and secured. She pulls away enough to see my face and said..

" I think, we have to sit now and talk things over. Like what you said, we need to meet halfway. I assume you are now willing to do necessary adjustment in your part. If I am getting it right, then I think we can make it work." At last! I saw Ana smiling again to me. I waste no time and lead her again to our table to talk.

I showed her a folder with the contract that I gave her before. She opened the folder and before she gives any reaction upon seeing the same contract, I get the papers and tore it in front of her. I want her to know that I don't need that contract anymore and I think she got the message because she reached for my hand and return me a quick squeeze.

She said that she wants more. To be honest, the word "MORE" scares me but because I want to have a future with Ana, I will give it a try. I told her how strict I am with food, security and safety and other things that I might see as a threat, and there's no way for me to give it up. I might piss her off but I will make sure to make up with her afterwards. She promised to be more patient with me if she needs to be. I promised her that I will listen to her, that we will make decisions together and not just do things in my way. We made it clear that we need to talk to let the other know how we feel for us to fix things as early as possible. I warned her that all these things are new to me, and I need enough time to get used to it as there are still issues on my side that I need fixing. Well, I need Dr. Flynn to handle those things and help me with. She understands my point and I guess, she will try to adjust with it, as I will do the same in return to meet what she wants.

I think it went well and I have no regrets on insisting to have this talk today rather than spending another day thinking when and how we can be okay. We are now inside the car to get Ana back in the apartment. Few hours ago, Ana was in the same place inside my car. The only difference now is that, I am holding Ana's hands, playing with her knuckles and I can see her smiling back at me. All the heavy feelings I have in the last few days are all gone and replaced with so much happiness and love. Here I go again; I say the word LOVE to myself. I just hope that someday, I can have that strength to tell it to Ana, enough courage to make her feel it. But I want to do it one at a time and I don't want to rush anything. As long as we both have the understanding now, everything will fall into places. The car stopped and I know we arrived in her place. I looked at her thinking if she will agree to what I am about to tell her. But I need to say it to her now. I have to. I need to. Okay Grey, better tell her now.

"Ana, can you move in with me?"

* * *

**Author's Note:**

I hope you will like how I handle this chapter. Please review and rest assured that it is appreciated. Thanks again!

To one of the reviewers, **jeangb, **thank you for suggesting a song. If I have a chapter that will suit the song, I will be happy to use it. Thank you for reviewing.


	6. Chapter 6 - What I Cannot Change

**Author's Note:**

Hi guys! :) Here is a new chapter for all of you. I hope you will like it. I am using LeAnn Rimes' song called** "What I cannot Change". **It is a good song. Enjoy reading and please leave me a review. It helps me to keep going. Many thanks! :)

* * *

"Ana, can you move in with me?"

I am holding my breath waiting for Ana to answer me. It feels like it's been hours but in truth it's just a minute when she answered..

"No.."

No. It is the only word that I hate so much. I used to have control and the word NO is not in my vocabulary in getting what I want. But with Ana, I am willing to get out of my control just to be sure that she won't leave me anymore. I bow my head and starting to accept my defeat when Ana interrupt my thoughts as if she can read my mind.

"Christian, please. Please look at me."

I am afraid to show Ana what my facial reaction is. I am sad and defeated at the same time. But we have talked it earlier, that we have to understand each other in times like this. That I will not be able to get what I want and I need to compromise with her with certain things. That we have to talk things out if ever we have different wants and opinions. I think that point is what we have now. Today, Ana got many things that she needs to absorb. I am aware that we are still both in the process of making things together again…of fixing what we had and for building a new '"us".

As I look at her and tried to give a small smile to assure her that I understand and I don't want to push her, she just stand there and gave me a big smile. Then she suddenly close the gap between us and give me a tight hug and she whispers..

"No. Maybe not tonight Christian. Instead, can you stay with me tonight in my apartment? I want to spent my last night here with you before I move out and stay in Escala."

And that statement gave me a big smile to my face. I bury my face in her hair and hug her tight close to me. Only Ana can make me feel this happy. Ana is not aware that she has actually the control over me. She's the only reason that can make me happy and can make me feel hurt. But now, she really made me so happy. I loosen my hug, just enough to see her face and give her a quick kiss on her lips. I called out for Taylor to say to bring me clothes for tonight and informed him that I will stay with Ana in her apartment. I even called Gail to prepare something tomorrow as I will be with Ana when I come home. After my calls, I can hear Ana giggles and it really soothes my ear. Ana's giggles is my favourite sound.

I walk hand in hand with Ana. Once we are settled in and having a relaxing time sitting in the couch with her on my lap, I can feel my Blackberry vibrate and see Mia's name.

Oh my! I already forgot about my little sister. Ana nods and attempted to stand up for me to have a privacy in taking the call but I don't let her and instead, I even tightened my arms around her waist to make her stay.

"It's okay, Baby. It's Mia."

"Okay, go ahead and answer her call"

And I am rewarded by a sweet smile from my dear Ana.

"Hello Mia."

"Hi Christian, everything's fine now with Ana?"

"Yes. I will stay in her apartment tonight. Where are you now? You can stay in Escala if you want to."

"I'm here at Mom's and Dad's place. I just want to check on you that's why I called."

"Well, now you know that I'm fine and Ana as well, anything else?"

"Hmm. Can you invite Ana here? Let's say, dinner tomorrow and I don't want to miss any chance to meet her."

Oh, so that's the agenda then. I really know what my little sister is thinking and I am sure she wants to invite Ana in the party that my parents used to hold each year. I don't want to disappoint my sister so I'm good with it.

"Please hold on. I will ask Ana first if she's okay with tomorrow's dinner"

I can see a confusing look in Ana's face. So I ask her immediately.

"Baby, my little sister, Mia, is here and she wants to meet you. She's inviting us over dinner tomorrow. Is that fine with you?"

"Yes. I would love to meet her."

Ana is smiling and I am assured that she's fine with it so I get back to Mia.

"Okay, Mia. We will be there, let say..around 7pm. Is that okay?"

"Yes! It is fine Christian. I'm so excited. I will not keep you any longer. So see you tomorrow."

I can hear her clapping and she can't hide her excitement. I can even hear her shouting as she ended the call to inform my Mom that we will be coming tomorrow. My little sister acts sometimes like a child but I admit, she's a matured lady talking to me the other night. And that thought makes me smile.

As I put my phone away, I saw that Ana is thinking. Is there something wrong? I need to know.

"Something wrong, baby?"

"There's no something wrong Christian. I suddenly feel nervous. I will be able to meet your family tomorrow. I have no idea what to wear or what should I prepare. You know, this is new to me. Everything is new to me.."

Oh my Ana. She is definitely new in this just like me. But I don't want her to feel nervous in front of my family. They will surely love her and adore her. She is not difficult to get along. It is innate to her to be friendly and she's a humble lady. I am sure of that. I faced her and told her..

"Baby, don't be nervous. Just be yourself. They will love you. Trust me."

"Okay."

"And one more thing, I hope you will not be angry with me but I still have your clothes in your room in Escala. Actually, I move your things to my room. Maybe at this moment, they are transferring them in my room. I told Taylor to do that tonight so tomorrow, when we get home, your things are in my room already."

"So you planned for us to stay in your room…together?"

"I hope you don't mind. But if you don't want to, I understand. After what happened the other day maybe.."

"Christian stop. I just thought that you still don't want to share your room. You said before that you never share it with anyone. But if you're happy to share it with me, I would love to."

"oh Ana. What are you doing to me baby? I feel so lucky to have you. Really."

"I know, because I feel the same way Christian."

After a few more minutes we get ready to bed. I have Ana in my arms and I feel so calm. Just with Ana's touch I feel so relax. Ana stirs and gets up. She sits at the edge of the bed and guides me to put my head on her lap. She is playing with my hair while her other hand reached for mine and she hold me like that.

"You might not get enough sleep in the past few days. Please close your eyes now Christian. You already saw me sleeping and I want to see you sleeping too."

And in cue, I closed my hands and I feel her lips touch mine. She's now back on stroking my hair and I told her..

"I'm sorry again Ana. Thank you for giving me a chance."

"sshh, we talked about it earlier and it is now settled. No need to rehash the past. We need to move on now. We should accept the changes that we need to do, and also accept the things that we cannot change. Don't worry, we will face everything together."

I am still closing my eyes and absorbing her words. It feels so good to get assuring words from Ana. I can't help but to smile and feel loved by her. I am starting to doze off when I hear her softly singing to me to sleep.

_**Oh the rest is out of my hands**_

_**I will learn to let go what I cannot change**_  
_**I will learn to forgive what I cannot change**_  
_**I will learn to love what I cannot change**_  
_**But I will change, I will change**_  
_**Whatever I, whenever I can..**_

* * *

**Author's note:**

There you have it. I know it took me some time to update my story and for that, I'm sorry. I get busy with work and my courage to write suddenly dropped off but the good thing is, I was able to write and this is what I got. :) I really do hope you will like this chapter and every reader will leave a review. It really helps me to keep going and to write more. I am always happy to read your reviews and I am excited to reply to each one of them.

To my guest reviewers, I do hope you will make an account here so I can also reply to you and give thanks for reading my story and taking some time to leave a review. :)

Many thanks and I love you guys! :) Don't forget to leave me a review ;)


	7. Chapter 7 - Home

**Author's Note:**

Hi everyone :) I hope you will like this chapter and will continue to follow this story. To all the readers, those who followed the story and considered this as their favourite, many thanks to you guys! :) You're the reason why I keep this story going.

For this chapter, I use a song that I found in a site and it was being performed in a piano and cello. That video inspires me for this chapter. The song is called Home by Phillip Phillips. :) Please take time to leave a review. Thank you! :)

* * *

"Ana, baby..you need to wake up."

Sleepy eyes meet mine and then she yawn. I greeted her with a big smile on my face and I really can't hide the excitement inside.

"Christian, it is too early. My work starts at 8am and it is only 4:00 in the morning."

She closed her eyes again but I shake her a little more to prevent her from sleeping. I have plans for today and that includes what's on my mind now.

"Ana, you need to get up and fix yourself. We need to leave."

A shocking eyes stares at me and she asked..

"In this hour? Oh Christian, everyone is still sleeping. Where are we going then?"

I try not to laugh because I know that what she said is really true but I can't tell her now.

"Baby, if you don't get yourself off the bed, I will carry you out of the room. I don't care if you don't change into anything new or even wash your face. But I need us to be on the road after 30mins. If we can't get there on time.."

And I stopped. I almost told her where we are going. I see her, closed her eyes again and in an instant, I have her in my arms. I carry her and about to exit the room when she tries to pull away from me.

"Okay Christian. Please give me some more minutes. I need to change and do my morning routine before going out."

Yes! I win this one. I am excited now and I can't hide it anymore. I kissed Ana, just a quick kiss and went out of the room while humming. I really feel happy today. Waking up beside Ana, having the chance of watching her sleep and the happiness that it gave me when I think about her moving in with me. Meeting my family tonight is just a bonus but I should say, it looks like everything is working so great between us.

I am inside the car waiting for her while calling Taylor to check the place before we arrived. As everything is now in place, I glance over the apartment doorway and saw Ana walking towards my car. I can see in her looks that she is still sleepy. I already found a café nearby so we can get something to eat and drink while taking the road.

Ana is still clueless where we are heading and I am not giving away any hints about it. I just smile everytime she asked me and in return she is giving me that don't-mess-with-me look. She is so cute when she is like that, with pouty lips. This is really good to start the day because I aim to surprise her and hopefully the madness she has right now will fade away once we reach our destination.

I can see the slow changes in Ana's reaction, from a mad Ana to a surprised Ana. I can see in her eyes that she is also amazed with what she is seeing now. We are so near now and the sun is starting to appear. I finally stop the car, get off and open the door for Ana. I can see Taylor in a distance and nod at him. I reach out my hand to help her get off the car and put my arms around her waist as we both wait for the sunrise. Yes. I brought Ana in one of the places in Seattle where you can witness a beautiful sunrise, in Louisa Boren Park.

"It's beautiful Christian. How did you find the place? I mean, how you knew that we can witness the sunrise here and it is magnificent."

I smiled because I know that I made her happy early today, and I want to be the man who will do that to her. To make her this happy.

"Everytime I need to get out of Escala and have some time for myself without too many people noticing my presence, I always go here early in the morning, wait for the sunrise and leave immediately to avoid too much attention and media. Sometimes I need a break so I go to some places and this is one of them."

"Well, I should say, you found a beautiful place in here and it is really awesome. I feel so calm while watching the sunrise. It makes me feel that today is a new beginning."

I smile to the thought. Yes, indeed. It is a new beginning for me and my Ana.

"You're really smart Ana. That's the reason why I want you to see it today and not tomorrow or the next day. Because we are starting again and since it is the first day after we talk things out, I want it to start right. And showing you a beautiful sunrise like this will make you feel that we have a beautiful start of being us."

She turned to face me and put her hands to hold my face. She smiled at me and said..

"Thank you Christian. You have no idea how happy I am now."

I hug her and she hugged me back. We stay there for a couple of minutes and decided to leave. Anytime, people may start to come by and notice us there. So we head now to Escala as we both need to prepare for work. Taylor informed me that all is set in Escala. We arrived with Gail welcoming us with a warm smile and offered to prepare breakfast for us. I told her that we had eaten already and if she can prepare something for Ana to bring in the office instead. I don't want her to skip any meal or to eat not in time. Ana just give me that look again but I told her that it will help me not to worry and she gave in. I never thought before that it should work this way but I'm glad that I got another chance to make things right now.

The time flies really fast as I checked my watch and it is already past 4 in the afternoon. I called Ana informing her that I am now preparing to leave the GEH and go to SIP to wait for her so we can both go straight to my parent's home for the dinner that Mia organized. I arrived just in time as I saw Ana getting out of SIP building. Taylor, open the car door for her and she greeted him with a smile. Once she gets in, I reached for her hand and play with her knuckles. I really miss her and I just need to touch her to ease me up. I asked her how her day was in the office and I know she is happy with it and enjoying the work. I know this is her dream job but I want to make sure that she is safe there so I already did some actions for that. For the mean time, I will not talk about it with her now. I know she is nervous on meeting my family tonight and I don't want to increase the anxiety she is feeling by talking about my recent actions concerning her work.

"Christian.."

I immediately turn my head towards her to see if there's something wrong. She's so pale and her hands are now colder than usual.

"Baby, what's wrong? Are you sick? Wait, don't tell me you did not eat anything today."

"Christian please. I ate, okay?! It's just that I don't know if they will like me. I'm sure they know what happened few days ago, and I don't know what to think right now. Maybe they are mad at me because you were not okay because I left you…and.."

"Baby look at me. Ana, we are good now. What happened few days ago are all in the past. We were able to fix that and we are starting from scratch now. Please don't put yourself in blame because we both know why you need to leave that night."

"I know..but.."

"No but's Ana. Do you think they will invite us for dinner tonight if they are mad at you? And do you think I will let you go in a place where you might be harmed?"

"I trust you.."

"Exactly. You have to trust me when I say that they will love you."

"okay.."

"Listen to me. Whenever you feel like this, please try to remember the sunrise we both witnessed earlier today and what it connotes to us. New beginning, right?! So we are starting it today. It's our first day of being together again, of you moving in with me and of you meeting my family. They are the most important people in my life and now it includes you. I want to share them with you and feel like a family to them as well."

I think my words are now comforting her as I see her relax. I pull her to my side so I can embrace her while on our way to my parent's house. I can feel her heartbeat to calm down. I am stroking her arm to let her know that I am just here and she can relax. We now pull in a stop, get off the car and now heading in the doorstep. I hold her hands as my mother welcomed us. She gave me a sweet kiss in my cheek and offers Ana a hug. I nod at Ana and in a second, I just found her already in my mother's arms.

Grace is really sweet and I can see her eyes twinkle in delight. I know that she is really happy to see us together and to have dinner with Ana. She is the only girl that my family was able to meet and I have no intention to introduce any other girl beside Ana. Mia, as usual is now in her jolly mode and can't help her excitement as she squeeze Ana in a hug for many times. My Dad, Carrick also gave her a hug and ushered us to the dining room where the table is set.

Dinner is so great and I am happy watching my family talking with Ana and making her feel at home. Ana is enjoying her time as well, as she is so willing to answer all their questions and even noticed her blushing when they are asking her about me. Oh my good Lord, I just hope my family will behave and will not push Ana much. But it is a delight to see that Ana can fit in with my family and my parents, so with Mia, is treating her as one. Elliot is still not here but Ana met her already so it is not a problem anymore.

After dinner we are now sitting in the living room. My father and I are talking about businesses as usual while the girls are chatting in the other side of the room. I can hear them laughing and Ana's giggles are music in my ears and I can't help but to smile. I am at ease that she's comfortable talking with my mother and sister. I always glance at them to check Ana, then I noticed Mia coming towards us.

"Come on Christian, let's give them some entertainment."

"Entertainment?"

"Oh son, can you please play the piano and Mia will play the cello? I told Ana that my children can play an instrument and I am always happy to see you all performing."

My mother is now looking at me with pleading eyes. So that's it. She wants me to play something while Mia is on her cello. I hesitate at first but when Ana said please, I got into my feet right away and sit comfortably in the piano. Ana and Grace moved and sit in the couch as my father join them there as well. When Mia told me what we're going to play, I nod and we started to play.

Since we were a kid, there are times that we all performed at the same time. We used to do that and I am always happy to comply when my mother requested me to play. My mother saved me and all I want is to be able to thank her. And to make her happy is the only thing I know to thank her. Like before, I can see proud in her eyes while we play and a smile on her angelic face is now on. She grips my father's hands and I know, she is feeling so proud seeing us now. I can see Ana watching us enjoying the show. When we finished playing they are all clapping their hands and I just found myself walking towards Ana and pull her in a hug.

All eyes are on us but I don't care. I feel very thankful and a night like this is so priceless. Having my family around and seeing Ana happy with them makes me feel so blessed. What can I ask for more if what makes me happy is now in my hands? All I have to do is to keep it this way and I have no plans of ruining this.

They are now saying their goodbyes to us. I heard Mia inviting Ana to go with her to do some shopping. Mom and Dad gave her one last hug and I saw Mom whispers something to Ana's ear. I can't hear it but I saw Ana blushed and she smiled back at my Mom.

We are now back to Escala. I am finishing some work in my office room when Ana knocks and come in.

"Christian, I am trying to look for that song. The one that you and Mia played.."

"It is called Home. Why did you ask?"

"I have no idea what the song is but the melody is so nice. It is so welcoming and so sweet in my ears. Can I ask you a favour?"

"You can ask anything Ana."

I smiled at her knowing we are now good with voicing out what we want or need. Though, I admit that I need to work more in that matter but at least one of us is now starting to open up.

"Can you play it again? And sing it for me?"

I stand up and lead her in the piano room. Anything that I can do for her, I will surely do with no hesitation. I let her sit beside me and my fingers start to dance in the piano keys.

_**Hold on, to me as we go  
As we roll down this unfamiliar road  
And although this wave is stringing us along  
Just know you're not alone  
Cause I'm gonna make this place your home**_

_**Settle down, it'll all be clear**_  
_**Don't pay no mind to the demons**_  
_**They fill you with fear**_  
_**The trouble it might drag you down**_  
_**If you get lost, you can always be found**_

_**Just know you're not alone**_  
_**Cause I'm gonna make this place your home..**_

After I play the piano, I saw tears escaping Ana's eyes. I get worried and asked her why. But instead of being so worried I feel relieved when she answered..

"Mia told me that she will play something for me. That the song will tell me what I am to her…to them.. And then your Mom suggested that you can play it with Mia. That's why I am looking for that song earlier. "

And there it is. I thought something upsets her but it turns to be that she is overwhelmed. I so love my family, really! And for them to accept Ana is so important to me. I pull her closer to me and give her a hug while running my hands on her back.

"I told you, they will love you. I never doubt that. I know that Kate is the only one that you considered as family here as your parents are living so far away from you, but baby, please keep in mind that you have a home here, with me. And you can also call my family as your home as well."

"Thank you Christian. I am really happy today. It is so perfect."

"I'm happy to hear that baby. And I want you to know that you are my home too. I am so lost without you and I can only be okay if I know that you are with me. No place can make you feel safe other than your home. And I feel safe with you and I assure you that you are safe with me. Because I am your home too."

I kissed the top of her head and pull away just enough to see her face. Tears are still falling from her eyes and I use my thumb to clear them away. I so love this woman in front of me and I will do anything for her..

* * *

**Author's Note:**

****Thank you reading and I am still hoping that you will like it. Please leave a review. It really gives me joy when I read them. Thanks :)


	8. Chapter 8 - Love Letters

**Author's Note:**

I do respect all the reviews from my readers. So I looked for a beta and now I have MidnightSteele :) Many thanks to her, for taking time to read and edit my story.

For this chapter, I used a song called "Love Letters" by Juris. I hope you will find time to look for that song and listen to it. It is a good song :) I hope you will enjoy reading this chapter. Please leave me a review ;)

* * *

After that dinner last night, I can feel that Ana is more relaxed now. She is very genuine towards Taylor and Gail. I'm always reminding her to not use their first names, but I guess its part of who Ana is. She is very lovable, so kind and so easy to get along with. After having her live with me here at Escala, for even just a few days, I find myself changing more and more each day. I am more considerate with the people around me, because Ana is not afraid to correct me if she thinks I am doing it wrong, the way I talk to others, on how and when is the right time to speak my mind out or when to just listen. She is really good for me. I, Christian Grey, can do those because of a simple girl named Anastasia Steele. To others she might be that simple but for me, she is everything. And to be a man rightful for her, I still need time to prove it to her.

I know I told her before that I'm not that heart and flower kind of man, but here I am, writing letters to her each day. I make it a point that she read all my letters, and I can't explain the feeling. I just want her to feel special each day and let her know that she is so important to me. Sometimes, she jokes about my letters but deep inside I know that I am making her happy. It may be an old fashioned way of expressing your feelings, but I found writing letters so sincere. And to have your girl trust you deeply and feel that you have good intentions towards her, she needed to feel that kind of sincerity.

It's Friday and it is almost noon. I called Taylor in and handed him my letter for Ana today. I want her to receive it while we're at work, so she knows that I'm still thinking about her while we are away. Yes, I know we haven't been away that long, but I can't take being away from Ana if even just for a little while. But I guess I understand that we need to work. Because it's a routine of ours, I know she is expecting my letters now. At least there's something we are both looking forward to each day.

After a few minutes, my computer pings and I know that Ana read it already. I have an instant smile on my face while I wait for the email to open.

**To: Christian Grey**

**From: Anastasia Steele**

**Subject: A very thoughtful man...**

**Dear Christian,**

**I got your letter for today and it really made me blush. Thank you for the letter, and another thank you for being you. I knew that you were a sweet person, in contrary of what you told me before. Remember? You told me that you're not a heart and flowers kind of man, but you are acting like one. I really do love your letters and I am always looking forward to read your letters each day. Thank you!**

**Only Yours,**

**Anastasia Steele**

**Assistant to Jack Hyde, Editor, SIP**

My Ana. She is so generous in giving words of appreciation, even in smallest things. I am really lucky to have her in my life. She's teaching me in a way I never expected she would be able to. I quickly reply to her email.

**To: Anastasia Steele**

**From: Christian Grey**

**Subject: Anything for my girl...**

**Dear Anastasia,**

**You are welcome, as always. I wanted to make you feel happy, and in return it is making me happy as well. You see me in a way that others never did. And to me that is very special. I will never get tired of telling you how beautiful, loving, and perfect you are. You saw me inside and out, and accepted me the way I am, and I will always be grateful for that. I am now missing you, Baby. I can't wait to see you after work.**

**Always Yours,**

**Christian Grey**

**CEO of GEH**

After sending my reply to Ana, I went back to work. I just want to finish everything immediately so I can leave and see my Ana. I'm not expecting another email from her, but I won't deny the fact that I get excited when I heard my computer ping again.

**To: Christian Grey**

**From: Anastasia Steele**

**Subject: Can you lend me your ear?**

**Dear Christian,**

**While working on some manuscripts, and listening to some music, I passed by this song. I can't help but to smile when I hear it. It is so sweet and bubbly at the same time. It's called Love Letters, by Juris. I hope you have time to listen to it. It's really good. I am missing you too, and I am excited to see you after work.**

**Only Yours,**

**Anastasia Steele**

**Assistant to Jack Hyde, Editor, SIP**

Oh, my Ana! Sometimes she is like a kid that is playing around, but she is far different when she is upset and angry. But I do love her personality. She knows when to be playful and jolly, and when she needs to stand her ground. I quickly look for the song she sent me, and listen to it.

**_I must have done something wrong in my life_**  
**_For all the pain and thoughts that I can't move on_**  
**_It must be a curse that no spell can reverse_**  
**_That's what I thought until another stranger came along_**

**_Now here we are_**  
**_Writing letters to each other_**  
**_With sweet words_**  
**_We know we've said and hurt before_**  
**_But it's you_**  
**_You made the difference and it's true_**

**_In you, I've found the one who would let me be_**  
**_Like for a bird to fly you set it free_**  
**_Hold on and watch as I move to your direction_**

**_And you got me as soon as our eyes met_**  
**_Like for the moon to rise the sun sets_**  
**_Hold on and look at the same direction_**

**_You found love_**  
**_Ooohhh_**  
**_You found love_**

**_I spent my time wondering what I should do_**  
**_I'd get keep searching and I have been waiting_**  
**_Now it's a curse that has been reversed_**  
**_It's not what I thought_**  
**_You are the stranger that came along_**

**_Now here we are_**  
**_Writing letters to each other_**  
**_With sweet words_**  
**_We know we've said and hurt before_**  
**_But it's you_**  
**_You made the difference and it's true_**

The song is really good. Ana and I planned to have dinner after work, but now I'm making changes. I started making calls to put the last minute changes into place. I still have few more hours to prepare. It is just in time when I have everything settled. I checked my watched and it is already 4:30 in the afternoon, time to get ready to go to SIP. I call Taylor to get the car ready while I am on my way to the elevator. I hope that Ana will like my idea tonight.

I'm waiting outside the SIP building. I can't see Ana yet, but I know she's coming because I can her giggles from here. I just smile to myself. I really am a lucky man. Sometimes, when I think I don't deserve Ana, she reminds me that we deserve each other; and the thoughts aren't able to consume me. There may be bumps in our way but we just have to stick with each other. Talk and find solutions together, and we will definitely be okay. I open the car door for her to get in the car. I don't mind the paparazzi around. It is fine with me if they got a shot of me with Ana. But of course, I am still strict about too much attention from the media. But for today, I can give them something that they can use in papers. I am proud of my Ana and it is fine to let them know that.

While in the car, we are updating each other on how our days went. We laugh and we share intimate moments while we are on our way to dinner. But I get distracted when Ana told me about the news of someone buying the SIP.

"I don't know when it actually happens but people in the office are talking about it now. I just hope that the new management will not let anyone get out of the job as all are doing their jobs efficiently."

"Maybe the new management, if the news is true, will see that Baby. But please don't think about work now? Can you Baby?"

"Okay! I know Christian, lately I am thinking a lot of works but I don't forget that I am sitting beside a handsome guy right now who is so sweet and I just love him the way he loves me too."

And she gave me a wink after saying that statement. I can't help but to laugh at her. She is so adorable when she's acting like that. A few more minutes and we arrive at the restaurant. I lead her in and we are ushered in a private room. I can see how her eyes twinkle as she notices the rose petals on the floor, a table for 2 at the corner of the room, and how it's all romantically set up.

"It is beautiful Christian. What's the occasion and it seems like we are having a special dinner tonight?"

"A special girl needs to be treated in a special way."

I was rewarded with a hug and kisses from Ana. I put my hand on her back and motion her to sit. We order our food, and chat while we eat; as if we haven't seen each other in a long time. This is how we are when we are together. We feel like we have been away to each other for days so we have endless stories to share and things to talk about. We are now enjoying our wine when Ana's eyes suddenly turned to the petite lady entering our private room. I can't hide my smile as she looked really shocked.

"Christian... that lady..."

"I know Baby. Once I heard the song, I did some researching. We are very lucky as she is currently touring around to launch her album. So I got all the connections I have, to be able to talk to her and invite her in."

"Oh Christian! You never run out of surprises. I do love her song."

I can see how excited and eager she is to hear her voice. She started to sing and in the middle of the song, I stand before Ana and hold out my hands to her.

" We never tried to dance together so I guess it is a perfect time for us to dance. Can I dance with you Ana?"

She doesn't have to answer my question as I see her standing shyly from her seat, extending her hand to reach mine and we started to dance as Juris serenades us with her song.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

This is for you guys! Again, thank you to MidnightSteele (my beta) ;)

Please don't forget to leave a review. It really makes me happy to see, read and reply to all the reviews. Please note, that I can't reply to guest's reviews and to some that don't allowed personal messaging. But I want you all to know, that all of your reviews are highly appreciated. Thank you! :)


	9. Chapter 9 - Just Give it Time

**Author's Note:**

Hi guys! I hope everyone is doing fine. I need your opinion for the next chapters. Do you want me to include Ana's POV in this story? I really need your reaction about this, so please leave me a review. I will get my cues based on your reactions :) Here is a new chapter. I used a song called Just Give it Time by Jon McLaughlin. I hope you will enjoy it! Thanks to MidnightSteele for editing my story. ;)

* * *

It is Saturday morning, I am checking some documents in my study after Ana and I had our breakfast. Someone called Ana on her phone so I grabbed that chance to do some work while she is busy taking the call. I want to spend this weekend with just the two of us so I need to sort this out and I am ready to enjoy this weekend with Ana. I am about to stand from my seat to look for Ana when she angrily enters my study. I'm confused as to what got to her nerves to look like that. I am just in my study and for sure, I haven't done anything wrong. We had a great breakfast earlier and this reaction in Ana's face worries me so much.

"Christian, is there something going on that you need me to know?"

"Baby, can you please take a seat first? I don't know why you are acting like that. You were okay a few minutes ago. And what are you talking about, something that you need to know?"

"Oh come on Christian! You're a smart man and there's no need for me to tell you what it is. You know what you did not tell me."

"You know everything Ana. Just say what it is that is making you upset now."

"Really? I know everything? So why is it I have no idea about GEH buying SIP?"

Oh, I never saw this coming. Yes, I am aware that Ana will know about it soon but not today. The deal was done yesterday, so how come someone knew about it now? I need to choose my words and be very careful.

"So someone called you up today and informed you about it then. I don't know how the news spread that fast but I had no plans of not telling you, Baby. The deal just got closed yesterday."

"I don't care when the deal was closed. My point is, you did not tell me that you were going to buy it. Why SIP, Christian? Because I'm there and you need to control me while I'm at work?"

"Oh, baby please don't think like that. It's not about the need of controlling you, but it is a need for me to make you safe. You know my issues and I am hoping that you understand that part."

"But I don't want you to be connected with my work. I don't want others to think that I have a job because of you. I want to do it on my own… to be in a place because of my hardwork."

"I do understand your point Ana. And believe me Baby, I have nothing to do with you being hired at SIP. I just thought of buying it because I want to explore the publishing industry and I want you to be safe. It will give me peace of mind and at the same time, I'm expanding my company."

"But why didn't you tell me earlier? It would be better to know it from you rather than having someone call me to inform me about it."

"I did plan to tell you today. I am just sorting out the documents here. But I guess I'm a little too late as you already knew it before I could even tell you."

I hope that my reasons are enough to make Ana feel better. I didn't want to hide it from her in the first place. She is still quiet and I think she is thinking. Her face won't give any hints as to what she is now feeling. I started to stand and go to her. I want to embrace her and say sorry if I made her feel bad. I stand at her back and give her a hug from behind. I rest my chin in her shoulder.

"Baby, I'm so sorry if you feel bad about it, but please understand that I just want you to be safe. Being away from you makes me feel uneasy and the thought of you not being safe really makes me crazy."

"I understand. Just give me the same understanding as I really need some time to process what happened. Can you do that Christian?"

"What do you mean by giving you time? Are you planning to leave?"

"I am not running, okay? I just want to be away today and I will be back tomorrow. Please give me this time for myself."

"Please Baby, don't leave. You can stay here if you need me to be away from you. I will go to my parent's house so you can have the apartment all to yourself."

"No Christian. Please trust me to do this. I will let you know where I am. I am not leaving you, just think that I am in a vacation."

"You're gonna come back...?"

I feel myself as if I am a kid afraid of being alone and begging someone just to be beside me. But I don't need to be selfish. Ana assures me that she will be here tomorrow and I need to understand her the same way she understands me. I have no choice but to give in to what she needs. Like what we agreed before, we have to talk, to come to a solution and take the necessary action. I want her to feel that I am willing to walk the extra miles if that means that she will be back to me again. I start to release her from my embrace.

"Okay Baby. Just don't forget to tell me where will you stay today and please let Taylor drive you anywhere you want to go."

She walked to where I am standing and put her fingers under my chin to make me look at her. She smiled, before saying, "Thank you Christian. I will be back. I just need to clear my mind. I am not running. I am not leaving you forever, I just need time. Okay?"

And I just nod. And I am rewarded with a smile from her, she gave me a hug, and started to walk out of the room. I can hear her talking to Taylor and that gives me a little relief.

I start to make my way in the bedroom, and Ana is trying to pack a set of clothes that she will be bringing. I just sit on the bed watching her. I can't do anything and it scares me, but a little voice inside me reminding me with Ana's words…"I am not running. I am not leaving you forever, I just need time."

I did not notice that Ana is now standing in front of me as I might have been staring at the same spot of the room for a few minutes. I look at her and she sits beside me, holding my hands.

"Christian Grey, I love you. I will be back, I promise."

I try to prevent a tear from escaping in my eye, so I just pull her towards me, hug her so tight, and whisper how much I love her.

I choose to stay in our room. I don't want to see Ana out of the door. I am sure Taylor knows what I expect him to do. I am confident with that. After a few minutes, I can feel my blackberry signalling a new message.

**To: Christian Grey**

**From: Anastasia Steele**

**Subject: I love you!**

**Dear Christian,**

**I know you are still in there and not wanting to get out of the room. Please don't feel that way, I will be coming home tomorrow, that's a promise. I love you Christian, please don't doubt that.**

**Only Yours,**

**Anastasia Steele**

With that, I tried to compose myself and come out of the room. I go to my piano and start playing a song. After playing, I decided to go to Taylor's room to ask how Ana was. Before reaching in his door, I can hear music surrounding his room. I never thought that he does love music. As I came nearer, the lyrics became clearer.

_Still waters, heavy hearts  
Plans we make all fall apart  
Disillusioned and lost in the gray  
How can we fix the heart when it breaks?  
Don't know how much more you can take_

_Just give it time_  
_It's gonna get better_  
_Now is not forever at all_  
_Just give it time_  
_Everything changes_  
_Tomorrow comes today will be gone_  
_Everything's gonna be fine_  
_Just give it time, give it time_

_Quiet landslide when nobody knows_  
_Regretted decisions that nobody chose_  
_Under water and sinking fast_  
_No way out, no way to get back_  
_What might have been is lost in the past_

_When the world you're in is still again_  
_And it all fades out_  
_You've reached the end, begin again now_

_Everything's gonna be alright_  
_Everything's gonna be alright_  
_Just give it time_

And as usual, the song speaks to me; the words that I need to tell myself. Yes, we just need time, and Ana deserves to have hers; if she wants it. At the end of the day, everything will be alright...

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**Author's Note:**

I am not that happy with this chapter but I want to give you something today. Please don't forget to leave a review and do tell me if you want Ana's POV. Thank you for reading and I will wait for your reviews. :)

Thanks again to MidnightSteele. :)


	10. Chapter 10 - The Daughter

**Author's Note:**

In this chapter, it is all Ana's POV. As the story goes, I realized I need not just Christian's POV so I hope it is okay with you guys. As we go along expect other's POV in my story. :) I used Dion Roy's The Daughter song for this chapter. Please review. :)

* * *

I push the end button of my phone, eager to seek some answers with questions running in my head. How could he? I even opened that topic few days ago but he said nothing. What happened about talking things out? I thought we agreed to talk to each other first. _Oh Ana, don't tell me that you told Christian everything. We both know there's something else that you choose to keep to yourself._ I immediately snapped on the voice in my head and focus on the matter on hand. I have no time to deal with things that happened a long time ago.

I can feel the heat on my cheek. I think it is obvious how angry I am now. I don't want him keeping things from me especially if it has something to do with me, my work or anything that I am doing for myself. I can see that there's still light in his study and I don't think twice to enter it without knocking. I am too upset and I just need answers now. I see Christian about to leave his seat but he returned in his chair again when he saw the look on my face. Well Grey, I hope you get the message and know that I am really upset.

"Christian, is there something going on that you need me to know?"

I have to get the question out of mind so I gave him my first shot.

"Baby, can you please take a seat first? I don't know why you are acting like that. You were okay a few minutes ago. And what are you talking about, something that you need to know?"

I am not backing out, stop playing with me Christian. I feel so strong about this conversation so I blurt out.

"Oh come on Christian! You're a smart man and there's no need for me to tell you what it is. You know what you did not tell me."

"You know everything Ana. Just say what it is that is making you upset now."

"Really? I know everything? So why is it I have no idea about GEH buying SIP?"

I can't help it. I have no time to play games with him so I said what the issue here is. I never want him to interfere with my work. I want my job and I don't want others to think that I got it because my boyfriend is actually the owner of the company. Thinking about it makes me want to explode. If he has issues with himself, I also had mine.

"So someone called you up today and informed you about it then. I don't know how the news spread that fast but I had no plans of not telling you, Baby. The deal just got closed yesterday."

"I don't care when the deal was closed. My point is, you did not tell me that you were going to buy it. Why SIP, Christian? Because I'm there and you need to control me while I'm at work?"

"Oh, baby please don't think like that. It's not about the need of controlling you, but it is a need for me to make you safe. You know my issues and I am hoping that you understand that part."

"But I don't want you to be connected with my work. I don't want others to think that I have a job because of you. I want to do it on my own… to be in a place because of my hardwork."

"I do understand your point Ana. And believe me Baby, I have nothing to do with you being hired at SIP. I just thought of buying it because I want to explore the publishing industry and I want you to be safe. It will give me peace of mind and at the same time, I'm expanding my company."

"But why didn't you tell me earlier? It would be better to know it from you rather than having someone call me to inform me about it."

"I did plan to tell you today. I am just sorting out the documents here. But I guess I'm a little too late as you already knew it before I could even tell you."

Ana, relax. So that's it. He never planned to keep it from you. I don't know how to react now after that confrontation. What I know is, I need time to myself. I might say horrible things to him if I stay here. I need to calm myself. I just hope Ray is here. He's the only one who can make me calm in a second. I know what to do now, wherever is Ray right now, I will certainly go there.

I told Christian that I need time, and in the end, he gave me what I needed right now. I made it a point for him to understand that I am not running, that I will be back. I really need to have myself back, and for me to do that I need to be somewhere and think things over. I need to convince myself that the thing I am always scared about will not ruin anything I want to start with Christian. I just need to sort myself out and I really hope he can understand that.

He is there sitting on the edge of the bed while watching me packing some set of clothes to bring with me. It breaks my heart seeing him that way but I don't want to give him the broken me. He deserves the best and I am not my best right now. I am struggling to fight my past that hurts and scares me everytime I feel like I am losing myself, my independent self. In time, when I have the courage, I will tell him why I need time and to be away even for a single day.

Christian chose to stay in the room. I know it hurts him. Taylor is now waiting for me. I want him to drive me to Ray so Christian will be at peace to know that I am safe. I feel the urge to cry but I hold my tears at bay and decided to send him a message instead.

To: Christian Grey

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: I love you!

Dear Christian,

I know you are still in there and not wanting to get out of the room. Please don't feel that way, I will be coming home tomorrow, that's a promise. I love you Christian, please don't doubt that.

Only Yours,

Anastasia Steele

Once I am inside the car, I called Ray to know where he is at the moment. I know that he is just an hour away because he told me the other day that he wants to see and congratulate me about getting a job. Oh well, its because of my job, why I am like this now. An early father-and-daughter get together is now in place. We are now on our way to the hotel where Ray is. Once we arrived, Taylor opened the door for me and even asked to walk me inside the hotel lobby. I never argue because I know, once he get home, Christian will ask him about everything until I get somewhere safe.

Ray is waiting for me in the hotel lobby. He shakes Taylor's hand as a sign of thank you and gets my things from me. I nod to Taylor and tell him to make sure Christian is fine while I'm away. Ray ushered me to the elevator and once we came in his room, he gave me a very tight hug. I can feel how much he missed me and I am feeling the same way to him. I loved being with Ray. He is my father and always be my father. I started to shake and I can't help myself but to burst into tears.

Ray let me cry while I am still in his arms rocking me a little while his hands is soothing me in my back. He doesn't ask me right away what's wrong. He just holds me in his arms and in my surprised he started singing our song.

_**Watch where you walk and where you stand**_

_**Lead yourself with an open hand**_

_**Believe that you're worthy of more**_

_**Live like you're meant to be adored**_

_**I tell you this**_

_**If I stumble if I fall**_

_**If I'm not there**_

_**To answer your call**_

_**Remember that**_

_**My love would move the stars above**_

_**Daughter, remember who you are**_

_**Know that you're more than beautiful**_

_**And need no one's arms to feel secure**_

_**So scream at the top of your lungs**_

_**Or whisper the words if you want**_

_**I tell you this**_

_**If I stumble if I fall**_

_**If I'm not there**_

_**To answer your call**_

_**Remember that**_

_**My love would move the stars above**_

_**Daughter, remember who you are...**_

The comfort and love that Ray never fails to give me is making me love him even more. I feel so blessed having him around me when I need him most. After the song, he pulled me away just enough to see my face. I know I looked like a little girl right now in front of Ray but I don't mind. In my heart, I will be always his little girl and I know he always see me like one. I am not ashamed of how childish I may look like but this is me when I'm with Ray. His thumbs started to dry away the tears in my face and I smile at him at return. He walked with me and let me sit in the couch while he is getting a glass of water for me drink. He came back holding a glass of water that I gladly accepted. He sits beside me and I know that in the way he looks at me, he wants me to start speaking what's in my mind.

"Daddy, I'm sorry. I know I looked like a mess right now but I just need to see you. I feel upset and you're the only one who can make me see things in a different way. I am torn between me, being an independent one and me, being in love with a man."He started to shift on the couch and I know he is thinking.

"Don't be sorry Annie. I am happy to see you today though I am not expecting to see you so upset. What happen Annie? Did you and Christian have a fight?"

I take a deep breath and started telling Ray about Christian buying the SIP and what I feel about it. I know, he understands where I am coming from in reacting that way. Ray saw how hard it is for me to put myself together after my Mom married her husband number 3. And being independent helps me to make myself in my toes again.

"Okay Annie, I understand your need of being independent but I also understand why Christian did that. Besides, he already told you that he was going to tell you today but you got to him before he even got the chance to tell you. Look Annie, Christian has no intention of hurting your feelings. He is a businessman and he knows the pros and cons of every decision he is making. He bought SIP to expand his business and at the same time, it is to assure him that you are safe while you are away from him, let's say when you both are working. It's like hitting two birds with one stone."

"But Daddy, how about what other people will think? I can't.."

"Anastasia Steele, listen. I did not raise you to doubt yourself. You know what you are capable of. Whoever owns the company you are working with, as long as you show people that you worked hard to be in the place you are now, I think there's nothing to worry about. Remember what I told you before? You don't exist to please others; you just need to please yourself. And that means, you should not be affected of what other people might think of you. You just need to do what you loved. Just be yourself, be who you are. That's what I witnessed years ago when you are trying to be so independent. You even left our house to live with Kate while studying at WSU and taking part-time jobs to support your studies."

He moved to sit closer to me, put his arms around my shoulder and guiding my head to rest on his shoulder.

" I know how much Christian loves you Annie. I can see on how he looks at you. And I know that he is doing that not to take away your credibility on your chosen career but that is the way he sees fit to make you safe. Please understand his side as well. Did you tell him about what happened years ago, that's why you acted that way?"

"No.."

"Well Annie, you should. Sometimes it is hard for us men to understand how women think. You should tell him why and I'm sure he will understand where you are coming from. Can you do that little girl?"

I smile at the way he said 'little girl'. With Ray, I am always his little girl. I look at him and smile.

"Do I still look like a little girl Daddy?"

"Yes you are, a few minutes ago I had my little girl in my arms trying to soothe her from crying."

"I like to be your little girl daddy. That wont change.."

"I know Annie, you are my little girl and you'll always be."

He kisses the top of my head and whispers… "I love you Annie."

"I love you too Daddy, and thank you..."

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**Author's Note:**

Hi! :) I told some reviewers that they will know the reason why Ana reacted that way in Chapter 10. But while writing this chapter, I realized that I want to focus with the father-and-daughter scenes first. And for that I am sorry, I decided to include some flashback scenes once Ana and Christian have a talk after giving her the time she needed. I hope you will still like this chapter and I will be waiting for your reviews. :) Thank you!


	11. Chapter 11 - By Your Side

**Ana's POV**  
After talking with Ray about what happened and what made me upset, I went straight to the other room that Ray reserved for me when he got my call. I'm exhausted and just want to lie on my bed and get a good rest; but I remember that Christian is surely waiting for my text. I promised him to inform him where I'm going, to give him peace of mind. I get my phone out of my bag and type a text to him.

**I am with Ray and will stay the night on a hotel. Please stop worrying and I'll see you tomorrow. xxx**

As expected, I received a reply from him.

**Please have a good sleep, Baby. And I'll see you tomorrow. I miss you already...**

A single tear escape my eyes because I miss him too. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and brush my hair before putting myself to sleep. I am still wide awake in the bed. I can't stop thinking about how I'm going to tell Christian about my past. Rehashing the past still hurts and I do hope Christian can give me the comfort I need once I start telling him what happened years before. I need to tell him so he can understand. Ray is right, and I do believe his every words and opinions. Of all people, I can only trust one person that much and that's Ray. He's been so good to me and I will be forever grateful for that. My eyes are starting to feel heavy and I find myself dozing off.

**Christian's POV**

I finally got a chance to ask Taylor if he got Ana safe in her destination. I am convinced with all that he said and decide to go to my room. Here I go again, I will spend the night alone. But I choose this night than the night when Ana left after the incident in the playroom. Now, Ana assured me that she will be coming back. I look for my phone as I enter my room, hoping to see a message from Ana.

A smile creep to my face as I am now relieved that she can stick to her promise that she will let me know where she will be spending the night. My worries are now lessening as I know that she is with Ray, and safe. I type a quick response and try to sleep. My blackberry signalled that I received a new message and without hesitation I grab it eager to know if Ana send me a message. To my surprise, it was Ray. He told me to come over the hotel where they are staying and he will be glad if we can have breakfast together. I'm not sure if Ana is aware about Ray's invitation but I will be happy to see Ana tomorrow. So without thinking twice, I answer back to Ray to expect me tomorrow morning and I am happy to have breakfast with him. And with that, I was able to catch my sleep, and excited at the same time that my waiting will be shortened because of Ray's invitation.

I don't care if I only got a few hours of sleep. I just need to go to the hotel so I can see Ana and of course, to get a chance to talk to Ray. I think a man to man talk is in place today. I want Ray to know that I'm really serious with Ana and any chance that he can enlighten me on how Ana reacted yesterday, that would be great. I told Gail that I will have my breakfast outside and not to bother to prepare me one. I am in a hurry as I am really excited to see my Ana. Ray sent me the name of the hotel and his room number. I arrived in the place and after confirming with the receptionist, I hurriedly went to the elevator.

I knocked twice and Ray opened the door for me asking to enter his room and feel at home. I can see that he prepared two cups of coffee. My eyes are looking for any sight of Ana, but I can't see her. Ray might see my actions, and he answer's my unspoken question.

"Annie is in the other room. I let her stay in the room beside mine, because I want to talk to you first."

Now I understand. Ray planned to have a talk with me early today so I take my sit and start sipping the hot coffee that he prepared.

"Well, Christian I hope you are fine today. I know what happened yesterday. Annie told me already last night." And he sipped his coffee without taking away his eyes from me.

"I'm not sure if the word okay suits what I am feeling right now. I hope you understand that it is not really my intention to hurt Ana in any way."

"I know Christian, you don't know everything that happened to her, that's why."

Everything that happened to her? Is there anything wrong with Ana. Now my worries came back and I can't hide it anymore.

"Is there anything wrong with Ana? I am still clueless why she acted that way. I hope you can enlighten me Ray. I do want to understand why."

"Even though I want to tell you, I just can't. It's not my story to tell. I invited you here to tell you how pleased I am to know that you want my little girl safe. You're the first one who showed her that kind of care and for that I am really thankful. Ana has her issues and demons she dealt with while growing up and I hope you will have an open mind to understand her. You will know what I am saying once she tells you everything. There are instances that Ana might want to do things on her own way, and I want you to give her that when you see fit. I do trust you Christian. Take care of my little girl."

"You know that I would do anything for her Ray. You have my word."

Ray just nod and emptied his cup of coffee before turning his gaze on me again.

"I think Ana is still sleeping and I want to go out with her today. But I will make sure that she will be in your place before dinner. I hope that's okay with you. I missed my little girl and I want to spend the day with her."

"Can I see her? And of course, you can go out with her and I will be happy to have her with me in dinner. I know she misses you a lot and to be with you will make her happy. I want her to be."

After our talk, I went to Ana's room and see her sleeping in the middle of a king sized bed. I love to hear her steady breathing. The sunlight coming from the window shines on her face and a smile is now on my face. My Ana, she is so beautiful and I love watching her sleeping. I carefully walk towards the bed not wanting to wake her up. I kiss her forehead and put some strands of her hair away from her face. Oh God, I am so lucky to have Ana. After a while, I decided to leave and just wait for her later today. I am afraid of what she might tell me but I will make sure that I will be strong for her. Whatever it is, I will be by her side.

**Ana's POV**

I can feel the heat of the sunlight on my face. My head is still heavy after having a good cry last night. I can smell Christian's scent in the room; maybe I just miss him that much. But I feel someone kiss my forehead. I want to open my eyes but they won't allow me too. I still feel exhausted. I heard someone opening my door.

"Hey Annie, it's time to wake up. I brought you breakfast in bed."

Oh my Daddy is so sweet! I stretched my arms trying to help myself to wake my senses. I sit in the bed and I can see Ray smiling back at me.

"Had a good sleep little girl?"

"Yes Daddy. I really miss waking up and see you bringing my breakfast in bed, just like the only princess in the world." I winked at him and I was rewarded a big smile from Ray.

"Reminiscing Annie?"

"Hahaha. Yes Daddy, and I think I need to give you butterfly kisses just like before."  
And I gladly went off the bed and give Ray butterfly kisses and hug him tight. All my worries are gone and Ray always helped me to feel fine.

We spend the day together. We went out, chat over lunch and watched a movie. It is really a fun day and I missed my daddy so much. I am happy to have him right now.

"Annie, I talked with Christian early this morning."

Oh, so Christian was there; the scent, and the kiss on my forehead now makes sense. We are already in the car and I shifted in my seat to be comfortable.

"Daddy, does he look fine?

Worry strikes me; I never heard anything from Christian today. I feel nervous. I try to keep my breathing normal and I know Ray noticed it.

"Annie, please breathe. Stay calm. He is good and we had a good talk. Don't worry I did not tell him anything. I just want him to know how grateful I am for taking good care of you. And after that talk, I know he will understand you once you tell him what scares you."

"Do you think daddy?"

"Yes, little girl. He loves you so much and he will surely understand. Just tell him everything and all things will fall in place."

I noticed the car pulled on a stop and I know where we are. Ray gave me a hug and whispered his love to me and I do the same. My heart is pounding so hard and I can feel the coldness in my hands. Ray pulled the car away and I am left here standing in front of Escala. I go straight to the elevator and code the number to Christian's floor.  
I am now in a foyer and starting to take little steps into the great room. I can hear that Christian is playing some music. I know it comforts him, and music plays a major role to express what he feels. In an instant, I know he felt my presence and our eyes meet. I can't control it anymore and I let my tears fall down my cheeks with my eyes fix in Christian's.

I can see the panic in his eyes and I just found myself wrapped in his arms. I let myself cry to wash away the heavy feelings inside. I just then realize that we are now on the couch. He let me cry until my I can't even hear my sobs anymore. He just held me the entire time, without saying anything. I need him like that and I'm happy that he just did what I need him to. I decided to break the silence around us. I pull myself from him, just enough to see his face. I raised my hands to cup his face.  
"Thank you Christian for letting me cry my heart out and giving me the comfort that I need right now."

"Oh Baby, I would do anything for you."

"I know and I'm sorry if I hide something from you. It is hard for me to rehash some painful events in my past. Not until yesterday, when the idea of you buying the SIP scares me."

"Why does it scare you Ana? Just let me know what it is so I will be aware and we can avoid the same scenario like yesterday."

No matter how hard it is to tell him my story, I choose to continue because he deserved to know what it is.

"It was when I was about 6 years old…"

My mother married again but the difference is, he was a rich man. I don't know how she met him but what I know is, I moved out from Ray and here I am, standing in a big room. I get to go to a new school as well. Someone dropped me off the school gate and I can feel how different I am with the other kids. I walked with a bowed head, avoiding that kind of stare that I never understand.

I reached my room and found a single vacant chair. I decided to go in that way and before I can even put my bag on my chair, someone touch my shoulder. I turned around and saw a group of girls with their arms crossing in front of their chairs. Oh no! I hope I am not in trouble, I am sure I never did anything wrong, I've been here for only a few minutes.

"So you're the new girl, then. The daughter of that gold digger, I guess."

"Gold digger? Who?" My voice is so tiny and feels like a whisper.

"Her name is Carla and I'm pretty sure that's your mom."

I don't know how to answer it. I never get used to getting into fight. Ray's words are always in my head and he raised me well. I choose not to say a single word and just ignore them. Yes, I can ignore them but I cannot deny the fact that it hurts me. Everytime I'm in school, they are not tired to call me names. I will just stay in a corner of in a place where no one is there. I learned to make my own world in school. I have unshed tears and I don't want anyone to see how weak I am. "you're strong Annie, I know you do." Ray's voice in my head makes me survive each day. I never told Mom about the kids in school. When I'm at home, I choose to stay in my room and let the rest of the day passed by.

After a few months, I think I mastered the art of hiding my true feelings are. One day, I am about to go inside the house after school, I can hear loud voices behind the door. I can hear my mother shouting and her husband raising his voice. What should I do? I don't want to enter the house in that state. So I just sit with my back against the door, trying not to hear what they are saying. I raised my hands to cover my ears. I bowed my heads and try to hide the tears escaping my eyes. I don't want others to see me weak.

I thought they are over from shouting to each other, and I did my silent entrance in the house. I don't know if they know that I'm already there but before I could even reach my bedroom door, I heard him say.. "They are right, you're a gold digger. You are so dependent on me and you had your kid to stay here so you both can get what you need from me."

And those words make me stop from walking. It echoes to my ears and I lost my focus. So the kids at school are right? I don't know what to do and first thing that comes to my mind is to call Ray. I was able to get the phone and dial his number. Ray makes sure that I memorized his number before I moved in with my mother. He answered the phone after the second ring.

"Dad..please take me away from here…"

That's all that I need to say and I know Ray will be getting me in a moment. I am in my room, trying to control my tears but my breathing is not good now. I can feel the pain in my chest. Images of the kids from school are now haunting me, mixed with the shouting that happened earlier and the voice of him saying that we are gold diggers. It keeps on playing in my head and the last thing I know is, darkness is now consuming me.

"So you passed out?"

"Yes..I don't know how but I did. I gained my consciousness in a hospital bed. Ray is on my side holding my hands. "

"What happened with Carla and her husband."

"I don't know exactly what happened. What I can remember is they visited me but I am afraid. I asked Ray not to let them in."

"And what had the doctor said regarding your status?"

"I had an anxiety attack. They advised me that to hold my emotions and let it out. There are times that they will let me scream to release the tension that I am feeling. At first I can't, but eventually I learned not to keep my emotions to myself. There are times that I am awakening by nightmares and it will be hard for me to breathe. I can still remember that a doctor advised me to try acupuncture to keep my body from shaking."

"Does it work good for you, Baby?"

"Yes, I can say it helps. I finally have a peaceful childhood from Ray but he observed that I don't want any helps from others and he feels that there's something wrong. I am afraid everytime my independence is taking away from me. So he consulted a doctor and we found out that I have Soteriophobia. I am afraid to lose control with myself because I want to prove others that I am not a gold digger like what they thought me to be."

"And that fear came back to you because you don't want to be dependent on me…"

"Yes, it's like that. But at the same time you also need control. I really tried hard to adjust with that. I thought I'm doing it just fine until the news of you buying the SIP caught me off guard. But Christian, please don't think that I am weak enough to just leave you alone. We talked about it before and I am still sticking with my words. I just need you to understand me. Ray told me that you guys never understand the way we think so I need to tell you what I am thinking everytime I feel something wrong."

"Ray is right. I really don't know what to do yesterday. But thank you Ana for letting me in and sharing your nightmare with me. I promise that you don't need to face it alone. I'm here, Baby."

"I know and I'm really sorry."

I can feel that my tears are now threatening to fall but before they do, Christian embraced me and whispered..

"I just hope that I can stop your crying but if that's what you need to do to feel better then I won't stop you. But be aware that everytime you do, I will be here to comfort you."

After a few minutes, my body is now calm and Christian started to shift from his seat and held out a hand to me.

"Let's have dinner?"

I gave him a smile and reached for his hand. We had a good dinner prepared by Gail. I feel lighter and I am happy that I get it out of my chest and told Christian the reason why I reacted that way. We are now in the bedroom, preparing ourselves to go to sleep. He has my hairbrush on his hand and motioned me to lie on the bed with my head on his lap. He started to brush my hair telling me to relax and to sleep. I am enjoying the sweet gesture from Christian with my eyes closed.

"Do you remember when you let me sleep in your lap and sing to me as I sleep?"

I nod to answer his question and just smile. Then I can hear him singing a song to me. Just like what I did that night.

**_I turn off the lights and let you sleep  
Just close your eyes, relax and breathe in slowly, no, don't feel lonely  
'Cause I'll be right here by your side  
If you should awake into the night keep dreaming  
'Cause I'll be keeping your heart in mine  
Don't you know I'll always be near?  
Even in the hardest time  
Don't you know I'm always right here?  
When you're feeling lost don't give up because it's alright  
When you close your eyes I'm by your side..._**

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** Author's Note:**

Hi guys! I hope everyone's fine. I used the song By Your Side by Faber Drive. I hope you will like it. As usual, thanks to my beta, MidnightSteele. ;) I will wait for your reviews. Thank you.


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